Canned laughter?
The difference between various sciences explained using pineapple
Guernsey McPearson
The first part of this 'joke' is plagiarism. The second is original.
First part
Three scientists, a chemist a physicist and a mathematician, are shipwrecked on a desert island with only a can of pineapple between them.
They debate how to open it
Chemist Put it in saltwater and wait for the can to corrode
Physicist Don't be ridiculous. That will take too long and the salt will ruin the flavour.
Chemist (Aggrieved.) So what's your solution?
Physicist Put it on a fire & wait for the pressure to build. The can explodes and voila. You have pineapple.
Mathematician Don't be silly. The pineapple will be spread all over the beach and mixed with sand.
Physicist (Aggrieved.) So what's your solution?
Mathematician Simple. Assume we have a can-opener.
Second part
Just then four more figures come along the beach: a statistician, a medic, a chief executive officer and a data analyst.
All Can you help?
Statistician I could have done but you should have consulted me when you designed the can. Do you have an empty can we can compare it to?
Medic What I do know is that every can is unique. Let's measure it today and tomorrow and see if it responds
CEO It's true that this can is a disappointment but there are many very promising cans in the pineapple pipeline.
Data-analyst Get me a million cans and I'll find something. Failing that, I'll teach you how to simulate eating the pineapple.
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